Madam Becky & UK Prostitution Laws.

Prostitution Laws in the UK.

‘’When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.’’
Matt Groening

Prostitution is legal in the UK.

You are allowed to go out now and buy or sell sex, and not get yourself arrested.

What you are not allowed to do is try to talk anyone else into it, or help anyone do it properly with clean towels and a nice cup of tea afterwards.

A very conservative estimate is 100,000 ladies in the Uk are working as prostitutes. Approx 30,000 of these work on the streets, leaving 70,000 plus women working as independent escorts (ladies who arrange their own bookings and accommodation) or from massage parlours and flats.

I admit to knowing very little about the street / drug scene. I have only ever been connected to the middle management, middle class side of the sex industry and as the figures show it’s a big one!

In a recent survey of 11,000 men, the British Medical Association found that the proportion of men who have had sex with prostitutes has nearly doubled in 10 years from just less than one in 20 of the male population to one in 10.

Recreational sex is on the up, and the prices are down.  Single university graduates are more likely to have paid for sex than married men and non-graduates.  Punters really come from all walks of life and social backgrounds. Widowed, disabled or just single and feeling the need.  

In fact, a surprising number of clients would prefer a massage with a ‘happy ending’ than half an hour of bumping and grinding and some gents just enjoyed a chat and a glass of wine. The image of trembling perverts in raincoats is a very long way from today’s reality.

I’ve really noticed the recent trend for younger men, in their late teens and twenties, to use prostitutes, albeit mainly those in massage parlours and other brothels rather than street girls.

It was normal when I owned Madam Becky’s Gentlemen’s’ Clubs for large groups of lads on a stag night or boys nights out to go for a curry, visit a prostitute then head off to a club. They would all stand together in a room and squabble amongst themselves about who they wished to book, sometimes 2 or more chaps seeing a girl together. Some of the lads would decide to see a ‘male escort’ for a change, and no-one seemed to mind. This is in the market towns of the home counties, not the inner cities.  Other than Manchester, Milton Keynes has the most tarts per square mile than anywhere in Europe. The new posh flats are home to many a massage parlour.

Ok, back to the legal’s.

 Soliciting and kerb-crawling is illegal.

You cannot saunter up to people, rub against them and offer to ‘love them long time … 50 dollar’ or to offer to sell a condom for £50 with a free tutorial.   You may not put cards in phone boxes or shop windows that reads..

‘Martha And Her Massive Mammaries… Special Offer Today 30 mins for 2 shillings and sixpence.’

Now, those can't be comfy......


The boys in blue will call you up, cunningly make a booking, arrive in disguise (so they think), and give you a good legal dressing down.

Personal ads in the backs of local newspapers have come under government and Women’s Institute fire in the last few years, with many publishing groups now refusing to carry any massage or escort adverts. Those that do, insisting that web addresses, saucy pictures and racy wording like ‘Madam’  ‘Kitten’ even ‘Foxy’ have to be removed, along rude sexual details such as locations and opening times.

Procurement is illegal.

You cannot try to talk your old mum into earning a few quid by turning tricks behind the Working Men’s club, so you can buy some phone credit.

You cannot go to Prague for the weekend and try to sneak a bevy of EU lovelies back in your hand luggage, along with your 5 kgs of cheap rolling tobacco and a Technicolor plastic Virgin Mary with wobbly eyes.  

The sentence for procuring prostitutes at home or on holiday is 14 years. I’d prefer to hang you and slice you open from sternum to anus with a spoon, letting your bowels spill into the street to be eaten by dogs if I had my way. If trafficking is an ambition of yours, you’d better not to vote me into parliament.

Running a brothel / massage parlour / house of ill repute is illegal.

 People always say at this point ‘Really? I thought 2 ladies could work together these days?’

No. They can’t.

That's me!

In a review published January 06, the Labour Government announced that for the sake of safety, its intention was to allow up to three women or men (two prostitutes and a “maid”) to work in “mini-brothels” to give them better protection.  The plan has met with fierce opposition. Not by me I hasten to add, bloody good idea. It’s a growth industry and 1000’s are doing it. In the light of the Ipswich murders of 2006 Tony Blair’s aim to make things safer got a big thumbs up from us all. There was a lot of hoohaa, but it seemed like a real goer. 

An interesting report was published by David Schmitt in Dec 2008 which proved sadly that Britain was now the most promiscuous society in the western industrial world, by a long way. Have a read of the link below.–promiscuity.html

So, into this era of casual sexual explosions.  Lady Gaga, Cheeky Girls and Kylie with their knickers and bra dancing being idolized by 7 year old at tea time.  Lesbian lust on Hollyoaks and the sin-ternet oozing sexual images from every portal, in steps Harriet Harmen to rescue women. The government did a U turn with no indicators and mowed us all down.

Ms Harmen  decided that although the UK seemed to be thoughly enjoying it’s bad behavior, all penetration of women is an act of violence.

Really? I don’t know how she’s doing it, but I rather look forward to mine.  She must be doing something wrong. Kinky buggers these politicians.  The rough stuff is considered a speciality service and at least an extra £50.

They took it upon themselves to end prostitution in all its forms forever in the Uk. Ha ha! How funny! Operation Pentameter and the sex trafficking lies will be the subject of another blog. Let’s just say that this woman is bonkers.

The immoral earns act is still in place, which means that any third party, madam, pimp, driver, receptionist, cleaner  who aid a working lady in prostitution is liable for a prison sentence. 

A premises is classed as a brothel if more than one person sells sexual services from there ever.  That is not 2 people together, that’s ever.  So you can’t work the morning shift alone, go home and your Auntie Martha and her massive mammaries work the evening shift alone. You can’t get your mate to hang about, answer the phone, make the tea, shout if you’re been hit with an axe.   That’s a brothel. Go to jail. 

A law has now been past,  that puts clients and management on the sex offenders register if they are found in a brothel during a raid.

HH’s own  statistics and government research show that more than half of all UK prostitutes have been raped or seriously sexually assaulted, and three-quarters have been physically attacked,  The figures for streetwalkers are even higher.

What is legal now, and deemed ok by Ms Harmen (now leader of the labour Party) is for a lady to work alone from her own residence. 

Send her kids to school, make the bed,  switch on her working phone and sit alone in her home waiting for various men  she has never met to enter her families sanctuary in full view of the neighbors for sexual services.  Tis a known fact that serial killers and murderers practice and hone their skills on sex workers.  

Harriet Harman Women Champion?  You need ‘fucking and throwing away’ as my old dad would say.

Some Feminists give females a bad name.

So, as we know the law is an ass. With a change of Government we may get a change of legislation, but don’t hold your breath. Asphyxiation is extra.

Strange and contrary as it seem, I don’t personally think Prostitution should be made legal. After 2 decades in the business I have my reasons, which I shall discuss in a following blog.

Feel free to ask questions or email me directly

You are also welcome to follow on Facebook!/madambecky

Madam Becky xx

4 thoughts on “Madam Becky & UK Prostitution Laws.

  1. Oops. The comment I made a few weeks ago got deleted. Don’t worry about re-posting it, I guess. I was just correcting myself for asking the same question as your last commenter. Nope, nobody knows for sure, and it would give you and your readers (myself included) a headache to try to think too hard on how many ladies are actually working in the uk.

    I just thought I’d crack a little joke about the methodology these Tories and their doomcriers use to try to justify the harassment they push on consenting adults. They get the same crap on this side of the pond from our gvt. A Tory’s a Tory the world over.

    Believe it or not, I did actually start working on an anthropology degree at one point. I liked urban anthro and economic anthro. I thought it might be interesting to use the methodologies from those fields to get better estimates on the sex industries in a few places where crooked people with vested interests in corrupt charities are hyperinflating the numbers for profit and political gain.

    Then again, when crooked people control the propaganda machines, and have the masses brainwashed to support said corrupt agendas, nobody will fund a study that reports a reasonable attempt at the truth.

    Sad world we live in.

  2. I kinda figured Brits would be high on the most sexually liberal list. The few I’ve been with had smokin tongues. I loved the accents, too.

    I was surprised that Canucks scored as high as they did. I suspect that most of the respondents in the survey fit the standard Canadian “fairness” model. Most of the discussions about promiscuity, exotic dancers, etc. that I’ve joined demonstrate a stark divide between stuff that happens out there, and stuff that happens on the Canuck-in-question’s doorstep. These conversations usually follow a pattern kinda like “What do you think of…” “Oh, to each their own, nothing wrong with that, as long as they’re 2 (or more) consenting adults…I met a dancer/escort/swinger once, not a bad person…” But as soon as a lady steps up and says, “Why thank you. I’m all for that because I’m into it myself,” it’s nothing but fingerwagging and/or creepiness.

    I guess you could say Canucks are sexually liberal in theory but sexually conservative in practice. Some of them are outright judgemental slut-shamers with ICKY double standards >:-(

    Madam B, I’m curious about the official estimates of the number of UK sex workers you’ve quoted. 80 000 escorts on such a tiny collection of islands sounds awfully high to me. I mean, if you take into consideration how many clients each lady needs to see every week just to pay her bills, and then have a little something extra… Are there enough non-monogamous men in the UK with enough discretionary income to support a workforce like that? I’ve been to events that pulled in crowds of 40 000. In escorts, that’s a lot of boobies. 80 000 would be a force 15 ladies wide, shoulder-to shoulder, stretching about 15 or 20 city blocks, depending on how close they’re standing back-to-front. Sure Brits are sexy, but I find it hard to believe that the British sex work industry is doing as much business as McDonald’s. At least, that was the impression I got from the figures I was able to glean from the tax info your gvt.’s published. Maybe Brits of middle incomes are subsisting on chips so they can afford their ladies? Or people of low and middle incomes have more money than they’re declaring? 😉

    What do you think? Enlighten me if you’d like.

  3. Hi Steve, Good to hear from you. Been a while.

    I hear what you’re saying about the figures and numbers of working ladies. No-one knows. I have trawled through so much stuff, and on a blog for those not in the industry, I don’t want to bore them to death with endless different reports and conflicting percentages.
    You and I know that the reports and government sats are all lies anyway. At least we try to get it kinda correct. The clients who get convicted end up on the register, and so do receptionists etc. I will deal with the whole coercion issue later!
    I get the feeling it may all calm down. I do hope so. Fingers crossed.

  4. Bad laws have been made recently, but the facts are not quite what you say.

    “A law has now been past, that puts clients and management on the sex offenders register if they are found in a brothel during a raid.”

    A client in a brothel would face charges if they had promised or had paid for sex with a prostitute and the prostitute had been coerced or deceived into working as a prostitute. (not necessarily by the management). The law does not mention brothels, or the ‘control for gain’

    As far as I am aware the punishment is a £1000 fine. I have no seen anything about going on the sex offenders register.

    I have also not heard that the management were treated any differently than before, which is 7 years and confiscation of earnings. What has changed is the premises can now be closed for three months, and this can be authorized by a magistrate with little evidence. That law should only be used where certain type of prostitution is occurring, underage, and coercion. But will it.

    The laws are bad, and the new laws make things worse, but on the plus side there have been very few cases so far.

    I am interested in where the numbers of prostitutes come from. No one really knows, but much I have read from a number of outreach agencies tend to put street work a lot lower than the figure you have. It tends to range in the 7% to 15% figure depending on the city. Edinburgh is low figure because brothels are ‘legal’ and Glasgow is higher because brothels are closed down.

    Repeal the laws.

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