Fat Old Men Need Love Too.


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Today the July 22nd 2012 The Sun on Sunday published an article about me which has caused a lot of hooha.

The premise of the article was that if my daughter wished to become an escort, then as I have run brothels for the past 20 years, and I’m not a hypocrite I would support her in that decision and help her to work safely and sensibly. 

My argument is that every girl who becomes a sex worker is someone’s daughter, and all daughters are created equal. They’re all precious.

 When I owned my agencies and a new girl would come to me wishing to start working in the sex industry I would give her the advice I would give my own child.  I would help her see the pro’s and cons and if she was determined to continue on that career path I would do my best to help her stay safe, in control and devise exit strategies for when and if she changed her mind and wished to stop.  

My daughter Emilia, discussed in the article has no wish to be an escort. It was a hypothetical piece of writing to create controversy, which it did. Emilia’s studying at collage, works two jobs in retail and is so comfortable if dis-interested in the sex industry she’s not even bothered to read my book about my two decades owning houses of ill repute. See the sneaky link… http://www.amazon.co.uk/Madam-Becky-Adams/dp/0957148909/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328552005&sr=1-1

All these points were missed by most of the readers who were baying for my blood and convinced I’d sent her to work the street outside my house.  That’s fine, I’m  kinda used to that, but what has concerned me slightly is that most people think the worst thing about being a sex worker is having sex with quote ‘…fat old men’.

So, in an ageing overweight population, what constitutes being old and fat? I know what a man is.

What age do men have to be before they are considered so revolting that they cannot be considered as relevant members of society with sexual needs?

Many of the posters of these comments were men who may think themselves young, virile and irresistible, but who are possibly considered past it, obese and stinky by others.

In fact, most sex workers I know would rather see a nice plump old gent who is quick and grateful than a cocaine fuelled wide boy who wants to go through the Kama Sutra 9 times in an hour. 

Seriously, stout older chaps should riot in the streets….for a bit and then have a sit down and a sandwich. If an escort posted on a thread that the worst thing about being a hooker was sleeping with big black men or Asian dudes they’d be arrested twice. Once for being on the game and once for being racist. How can the public get away with being ageist and fattiest wherever they like?

As a plump middle aged lady I’m quite partial to plump middle aged men, and as the excitement over 50 Shades of Grey shows, many ladies can get quite racy at the thought of getting jiggy with an older gent.

I’d say the worst thing about being a sex worker is the spiteful judgement of those finger pointers who are so quick to condemn a vulnerable section of society of whom they know little and care about even less.  The harsh criticism of others is what forces prostitutes into secrecy, isolation and danger.  

It is surly a basic human right to do what you fancy with your own body and have consensual sex with whom you wish, just as it’s a basic human right to scoff the last jam tart and enlarge your waistline.

Anyone for a biscuit and a blow-job?  

Madam Becky

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2 thoughts on “Fat Old Men Need Love Too.

  1. Dear Madam Becky,

    It’s been a long time since I’ve read an article about prostitution that’s been so refreshingly free of bullshit.Thank you writing such a senible and thoughful post. And also thank you for having the courage to make your views known via the straight media – even if they warped them.

    I am rapidly becoming a member of the fat old man demographic and your observation that people, in general, consider sex with this overweight males to be “revolting” is spot on. This sort of popular revolt is also interesting when one reflects that if anyone were to complain about “having to have sex with fat old women”, they would be charged with being a sexist bastard.

    Luckily, I am happily married to a lady who will probably some day transition into the fat old woman demographic and I hope to be merrily having sex with her until the day we die, so I, personally, hope to never be in the position where my only sexual and affective contact comes from commercial sex.

    But as both my spouse and I are researchers into sex work here in Rio de Janeiro, we can confirm many of your observations, first hand. There’s a large population of elderly men (some of them overweight) who pay for sex here. I have yet to hear one complaint about them from the sex workers themselves, who usually reserve their invective for the coke-stoked lads you mention (a demographic whose members also seem to think that sex workers should not be paid).

    One of our informants is a 58-year old prostitute who has been seeing the same client (now 75) for over 25 years. He’s been through three marriages but is still a faithful client of hers. If it weren’t for paid sex, he’d probably have no sexual affective contact at all.

    One final point that you don’t bring up, but which should be obvious: in legal, ethical prostitution, no one HAS to have sex with anyone in the same sense that a free, independent worker doesn’t have to take on any client he or she doesn’t choose. As is usual in popular, panic-induced views regarding sex work, people can’t seem to get their heads around three main facts:

    1) Sex work is, by and large, not the sweaty little B&D fantasy most burgers seem to envision, based on their viewings of made-for T.V. films regarding prostitution. It’s fairly boring, but extremely lucrative work. Most clients are not noteworthy at all, but some few are dears. A very, very small group are utter bastards, but here in Brazil, sex workers don’t call these people “clients”, but rather “maniacs”. They are not clients in the same way that someone who orders a pizza in order to mug and beat the delivery boy is not a client: s/he is either a lunatic or a criminal and should be dealt with by the police as such. Unfortunately, as you well know, the boys and girls in blue internalize the view that prostitutes get what they deserve when it comes to violence and rarely treat maniacs as a threat to the community, as long as they concentrate their attentions on sex workers.

    2) Most sex workers in Britain (and Brazil for that matter) are not enslaved, agencyless sex dolls but independent men and women who need respect from the community and – more importantly – from the police.

    3) The vast majority of clients are simply honest men who, for whatever reason, cannot or will not get their sexual desires fulfilled for free. The “overweight old men” demographic figures large in this population. My only gripe about prostitution is that, as currently structured, it doesn’t give equal opportunity to overweight old women to also pay for sex and affection.

    Your daughter should be very proud that she has such a forthright and courageous mother.

    Best wishes,
    Thaddeus Blanchette

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